After Tesla misses earnings targets by a mile, Musk promises to spend less time fixing the government and more time fixing his company's 37% stock slide. Meanwhile, their 11,509 Bitcoin remain untouched.
Musk Chooses Rockets Over Red Tape as Tesla Stumbles
Tesla held onto its 11,509 Bitcoin stash during Q1 2025's financial report, even as CEO Elon Musk informed shareholders he'd be spending less time as Donald Trump's official penny-pincher and more time trying to remember where he parked his car company.
Musk's promise to return to his day job appears to have thrilled investors more than the actual earnings report, triggering a 5.4% jump in Tesla (TSLA) after-hours trading on April 22, pushing the stock to $250.80 after it had already climbed 4.6% during regular hours.
The investor enthusiasm comes despite Tesla's Q1 results showing the company might need a jumpstart. Revenues hit $19.34 billion, missing Wall Street estimates by 7.85%the and representing a 9.2% nosedive from last year's numbers.
Tesla's net income plummeted even harder, with $409 million marking an 80.8% quarter-on-quarter cliff dive and a 70.5% freefall from Q1 2024. Apparently, selling fewer cars is bad for business – who knew?
Diamond Hands Through a Bitcoin Winter
Tesla's digital asset holdings dropped 11.61% in value from $1.076 billion to $951 million during the quarter, almost perfectly mirroring Bitcoin's 11.56% price decline to $82,514 over the same period, according to CoinGecko data.
Thanks to a new Financial Accounting Standards Board rule that allows public companies to report crypto at market value instead of just recording losses, Tesla's financial statements now reflect reality instead of accounting fiction.
With Bitcoin's recent rebound, Tesla's 11,509 coins are now worth over $1.07 billion according to Bitcoin Treasuries data – proving once again that hodling works if you have enough cash reserves to weather the storm. The company hasn't changed its Bitcoin position since June 30, 2022, when most crypto influencers were still promising the bull market would resume "any day now."
Musk Promises to Make Tesla Great Again
During the April 22 earnings call,, Musk assured investors he would scale back his government efficiency crusade to focus on making electric cars people actually want to buy again.
"Starting probably next month, May, my time allocation to DOGE will drop significantly," Musk said, referring to the Trump administration's Department of Government Efficiency – not to be confused with the cryptocurrency he occasionally pumps on X.
"I'll be allocating far more of my time to Tesla now that the major work of establishing the Department of Government Efficiency is done," he added, without specifying what exactly that "major work" entailed.
Musk claimed he'll continue dedicating "a day or two per week" to DOGE-related matters for as long as President Trump needs him to ensure that "waste and fraud that we stop does not come roaring back" – because apparently government inefficiency is like a weed that keeps growing unless Elon personally tends the garden.
Despite the post-announcement bump, Tesla shares remain down over 37% year-to-date, dragged down by a perfect storm of declining sales, Musk's increasing political activities, and economic uncertainty from Trump's tariffs – which were presumably implemented despite the efficiency czar's input.
Kataryna Habeliia
