Bitcoin is once again causing analysts to furiously disagree with each other on X while pretending they all saw this coming.

Currently priced at a modest $88,178 – mere pocket change for those who bought the 2018 top – Bitcoin is caught in the classic "Is this a dip to buy or the beginning of the end?" debate that has traders staring at charts until 3 AM.

Difference Between a Bear Cycle & Typical Correction. Source: CryptoQuant
Difference Between a Bear Cycle & a Typical Correction. Source: CryptoQuant

When In Doubt, Draw More Lines on Charts

Easter Sunday 2025 saw Bitcoin hit $84,600, its highest Easter price in history, proving that even digital currencies can have holiday traditions. The journey from $0 in 2009 to today's five-figure valuation demonstrates either incredible investment foresight or the collective madness of crowds, depending on whether you're up or down on your position.

Bitcoin dominance has reached a 4-year high, crushing the dreams of altcoin enthusiasts everywhere who were convinced their favorite dog-themed token would be "the next Bitcoin."

CryptoQuant's Head of Research, Julio Moreno, suggests Bitcoin might face resistance between $91,000 and $92,000, based on realized price on-chain metrics – which is analyst-speak for "the price might go up, unless it goes down."

Bear Market or Just a Flesh Wound?

According to CryptoQuant's detailed analysis (which definitely doesn't resemble reading tea leaves), what we're seeing is likely a "typical correction" rather than the beginning of crypto winter 2.0. Their color-coded chart shows we're in the yellow zone, not the red zone – vastly different scenarios that apparently can be determined by the subtle difference between a 30% drop and a 35% drop.

Analyst Mark Cullen has cast aspersions on the sacred $83,000 support level, suggesting that "those lows from last Sunday and Wednesday are likely to get run first," a statement carefully crafted to be proven correct regardless of what happens next.

Meanwhile, derivatives traders are reportedly building momentum toward a $90,000 breakout, presumably while cackling maniacally and drinking their fifth espresso of the day.

Hopium Dealers Working Overtime

Looking beyond the immediate chaos, the long-term predictions are, shockingly, overwhelmingly positive – especially from people who own a lot of Bitcoin.

"Seriously fam, this might be the last chance you have to buy BTC < 100,000," declared Arthur Hayes, co-founder of BitMEX, in what is approximately the 37th "last chance" to buy Bitcoin below a round number in the past decade.

Not to be outdone in the prediction game, Robert Kiyosaki of "Rich Dad Poor Dad" fame boldly predicted Bitcoin will reach "$180,000 to $200,000" by the end of 2025, a forecast that conveniently can't be verified for several months.

What This Means For Your Portfolio

If history is any guide (it rarely is in crypto), Bitcoin's resilience following corrections suggests this too shall pass. After all, BTC bounced from $27,931 on Easter 2023 to $84,600 by Easter 2025, representing a 203% gain for those who bought the dip instead of chocolate eggs.

For now, investors should closely monitor the $83,000 support level and the $90,000 resistance threshold, or alternatively, close their trading apps and check back in a month when the price will almost certainly be completely different for reasons nobody predicted.

Remember, in the immortal words of crypto Twitter: "Number either go up or go down, but always to the right."
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